CAPTCHA. A Poem.
prove you are human
Enter email. Enter passwo—
Hang on, loading…
Verifying you are human…
Verification complete! (congrats!)
Now, as I was saying, enter passwor—
POPUP ADS, YAAAAAASSSSSSSS
X out.
Are you sure you want to turn down this 3140% off coupon?
Yes. X out. I just want to log in.
Enter password. Password incorrect. Too many log-in attempts.
I’ve only entered it once, and it’s the right one.
Try a different way? Ok, sure.
Wait, loading…
Select all the photos with bicycles in them.
Select all the photos with stoplights in them.
Select the shadow pattern that matches the design. (what the heck, why is this one so hard?)
Verification complete! (congrats!)
Use FaceID? No. Use fingerprint? Yes.
Password incorrect.
There is no password it’s literally my fingerprint I have not changed it.
Whoopsie, loading…
Two-step authentication
Please check your email and enter the verification code we sent.
There’s no email. resend code.
Loading…
Enter code from phone number ending in ****
Code incorrect
Wait that’s not my phone number, hey honey, did you get a code?
Code valid for 2 minutes and 38 seconds and counting…
Verification code
Verification code
Verification code
Verification code
Verifying you are human…
Save this device for future logins? {{ONLY USE THIS ON PERSONAL DEVICES}}
Verifying you are human…
Verification complete!
(congrats!)
you are human.
you are human when you get exhausted from proving you are human
you are human when you create art that is imperfect
you are human when you giggle at cats’ toebeans
you are human when you get annoyed by the squeaking ceiling fan or your spouse’s snoring or your own body for failing you
you are human when you search for meaning, pattern, and rhythm
you are human when you get random songs stuck in your head
you are human when you improvise on piano, flute, sax, and voice
(jazz? ai could never.)
you are human when you lose friends to time, distance, addiction, or argument
you are human when you are moved to tears by a waterfall, an old oak tree, a handwritten card, your brother finishing chemo
you are human when you have nightmares, joint pain, and reflux
you are human when you taste the first bite of the absolute best piece of pie you’ve ever had in your life
you are human when you’re allergic to the whole entire outside world but still love spring for some strange reason even though it makes your sinuses explode and your face swell up
you are human when you are full of contradictions
you are human when you miss them, even though your relationship was complicated and imperfect
you are human when you don’t miss them, and you’ve moved on
you are human when you appreciate puns and dad-jokes
you are human when you shenan, and when you shenanigan
you are human if you didn’t get that joke
you are human when you’re sick and when you’re healthy
you are human when you’re disabled and when you’re not
you are human when you’re terrified for your loved ones and when you rejoice with them
you are human when the panic hits out of nowhere and you have to pull over on the side of the road
you are human when you overdraft your checking account, and when things have worked out for you and you can finally take that trip you’ve been dreaming of
you are human when you read and listen to audiobooks, when you forget to return your library book, when you hit a 365-day streak on Wordle, and when you debate what color a couch is (it’s taupe, it is not olive, I will die on this hill)
you are human in the complicated, plodding, breathtaking, earth-shattering slog of this particular chapter of middle-earth’s saga
verification complete!
Hey, thanks for taking time to read my words! I’ll be here as often as my brain and body allow.